1403: Groogen Gun Squad

Sorry, it's a lot of analysis
only that's why we are here

You wouldn't look at the whiteboard in a physics class
& say that they were overthinking the formulas?
or would you?

~

Have you ever seen one of those charts
that was divided into four sections?

Really it's a chart for only two things, so like the four seasons or the four temperaments, or whatever, are four things that appear out of two, you know? You have moisture and you have temperature. Cold wet = winter Cold dry = autumn Hot wet = spring Hot dry = summer, See what I mean? Well I was thinking about this imaginary chart, thinking about another series of things only this is about people of course and the way that people are

how afraid, unwilling, or reactionary are you, when you thinking about getting hurt?
& how afraid, unwilling, or reactionary are you, when you imagine hurting someone else?

1. 'I'm not afraid of getting banged up, nor am I scared of hurting anyone.'

These are the bulldozers of our world, and I feel like they are the healthiest ones. I will admit to you that I have a bias, have a certain feeling toward these people and that maybe not everything I am saying is right. The thing is, though, my most intense relationships have been with these people, the bulldozers, the ones who would still try & wrestle after they had been pinned down ten times. As you consider my bias, I will have you know that I feel very mixed about them, I can be scared of them, but also love them, feel enchanted and admire the beauty, only also just marvel at how dangerous it is. It is to me, the most attractive, the most terrifying, the most capable of driving me crazy with just beauty and beauty and cruelty and more beauty . . . Because this is what life is for the tough ones, rolling down hills and collecting moss and then afterwards bowling over whatever gets in your way. I won't pretend that I do not envy it. These are the rich ones and they have all their animal instincts to trade

2. 'I won't hesitate to hurt the people around me. Only I'm scared of getting hit myself.'

I can't say I have met too many like this, at least not after I left elementary school. This is, to me, a movie villain, a cartoon, a king of a fairytale country who wants to kill all the bunnies. It is, maybe, a 'coward,' a bad guy, someone who is evil in a cardboard sense, and really doesn't seem like a person we'll meet. Or have you met one of them? Well if so tell me, because in my experience people are a little more three-dimensional than cartoons. Eh, but what do I know.

3. 'I refuse to hurt anyone that I know. Only I will gladly take the hit.'

If number Two is a villain, isn't this a 'hero'? and aren't sacrifices a little more common than kings who want to kill all the bunnies? Yeh, I would think that there are a lot of people who might live this way. Only it's important for me to make a distinction, to show that I'm not talking about jumping on grenades & that kind of thing. I only mean that every day of our lives allows so many little chances, to joke or insult, to encourage, embrace, or abandon and laugh & denigrate, chances to make someone feel silly or chances to ignore someone's text, These are the pains that are possible on an everyday basis. Is there someone who is willing to feel those pains? someone who doesn't Mind being the butt of a joke, someone who isn't scared by it? and yet, being the kind of person who would never try & weaponise it? This too sounds a little unrealistic, only not like a cartoon, but more like 'The line begins to blur.' the line begins to blur between Three & four because we'll all take our pains and it is only a question of how willing or unafraid we are

4. 'I am very scared of being hurt. I never want to hurt anyone else.'

It begins to feel like walking on eggshells, doesn't it. Instead of an attractive boulder rolling down a hill, being a crab who walks sideways & tries not to step on any of the cracks. Of course there is something here that I can point out, a bridge in the equation that I don't think I have for the others; The bridge is like this,

'I am very scared of being hurt. (So painful are certain things, that) I never want to hurt anyone else.'
& how did I know the reasoning behind that one and not the others? well, Guess.
Only I think it's an interesting idea. I wonder if these little spheres can be altered, if people will crawl out of their zones once in a while, and change. Well they are always changing so I think so. To be honest, pain is just such a weird subject, as in, Why were we allowed to feel something so disgusting, something that could torment & nearly kill us if we had all the right sensitivities in place? God help me as I work on that riddle, Meanwhile, movies & drinks & sleep do not seem like bad ideas right now because they do not hurt no not at all

So have a very good night
-Bill