Wednesday, December 25, 2013

1409: Polytromos And Other Planets

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Remember all the things you told me? and I believed what you said & and I got into the habit of thinking them

You said to trust. Stop being afraid, and know that my fears were only trying to lie to me. You told me to calm down, and that I hadn't lost the battle; And I listened to you, I thought, 'My emotions are moving around only I know what the truth is. I will believe in this because I know I haven't lost.' And you approved of what I said and you made me believe it more, I remember the words, you said, 'You got this. You got this. You got this'

Then later I heard other things. Stories and accounts, and news items that didn't do me a world of good. Do you know something? It turns out that we may have been wrong the entire time. Back in that spring, I had lost, and what my fears were telling me was extremely true. It was nice, I guess, to stand up in the dark, to say that there was still a chance when it looked like the writing was on the wall. Only. I guess it wasn't all right. I guess there was no hope for that story. And for all my wanting to believe in myself the truth was just

I wasn't enough?
~

there are numerous kinds of love
in the end, there are really only two
I wonder if other people have thought of it that way
there are really only two kinds of love

and sometimes it feels like some love just does not matter. Some loves can't be thrown at someone to kill a certain problem. there are two kinds. Gasoline and water are both liquids, I mean right? If you want to kill a fire then put water on it. Don't put gasoline on it because that will not work. You can't tell me that gasoline will do well enough because is it a liquid, like water. You can't tell me that this love will help just because it is a kind of love. There are more kinds than that. maybe in the end there is only one love, right now though I can see all of it, and, well.

I'll still try and believe what you told me. You were so good to me.
Even if we were wrong, it wasn't wrong of us to believe

1 comment:

  1. For some reason, I read "Polytromos" as "Patronus" before I clicked through and thought you were going to tell us what your Patronus is. This has nothing to do with what this post is actually about. Sorry. Happy December 27!

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