Saturday, October 18, 2014

1422: Macroitem III

Let me steal from a Xanga entry I once wrote

'Maybe I have some kind of condition, and maybe again I haven't. A diagnosis is only a genre . . . And one of the things that suggested Disorder was my Whirligig perspective toward you, One day I thought you were royalty, another day a friend, & the next day I thought you were a rat. Those kinds of swings can really be signs of things, and landmark loose screws for the mind.'

I still consider that. Wonder about it.

The paragraph which I just quoted
Is actually talking to Exhibit A, and it's Exhibit B who prompts me to write, right now. It's still so true, that I feel so differently, differently as it depends on the day and what dreams I had, and how I am feeling & many other variables which fit well inside of a run-on sentence. Um. I guess it doesn't matter about the psychology, whether or not that means Bill has borderline personality disorder, or whatever, it's more like. Don't worry about it. It's like, affection affection Like all I feel is affection I feel really affectionate about you and I didn't really yesterday. To be fair I think I view you pretty consistently, a lot more than with Exhibit A, except I mean suddenly I am affectionate and, yes, I want relief

'relieve oneself'
What an awkward expression. what does that even mean? It means you have to do something, and I guess it depends on what. You know those scholars who write my reading material? They want to alter linguistic structures, history, gender identity and yes, That is their relief, to do what is intellectual - To release these historical, psychoanalytic, metaphysical bonds!!!! IS THAT ALL YOU CARE ABOUT

I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU
I want to hold you, and be what I Am without the pain of it. The history and the gender identities will be in a drawer, and I wouldn't care. Doesn't it make sense that, in this moment, we would be . . . No you're different. I don't know what you would be whining about. Look at this. You unreachable object in the outer space of lost friendships, Look at This!!!!! the dogfight you are reading here is all about you!

At this point of the entry, there was a comical image wherein the camera cut to a reader of the blog, who pointed their finger to the side of their head and spun it in small circles. The stock sound effect was that of a cuckoo clock. idk why but the writer hit the 'Publish' button

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